Reese: Mom, i know how to spell cat, C-A-S-T.
Me: Wow, reese, thats really great. Close though, its C A T.
Reese: No mom, its CAST, i know it is.
Me: actually reese, its CAT because (enter explanation of the phonics of the word cat minus the s sound). But you are doing a great job spelling for sure!
Reese: No mom,(hands on hips) its actually CAST. I know it is because I am 4 years old. (Proceeds to write CAST next to the cat drawing on her page.)
Wow, for some weird reason it frustrated me so much. I was having to really use self-control to not take her pencil out of her hand and not say "are you kidding me? I'm a good two decades ahead of you with a degree and I think I ACTUALLY KNOW how to spell cat. For some reason i got angry inside far beyond what the situation deserved. In one of my better parenting moment, I pulled myself aside let it go, and let the child write cast on her paper.
As i sat there trying to calm myself, i was disgusted by how angry I got inside and glad I didnt squash her little dream of knowing how to spell a word. But as I thought, i realized... I am that girl. I am that 4 year old, know it all, looking up at my father in heaven and unconsciously saying.. "no actually I know". I do it in the subtlest of ways, but i do it a lot. When I dont seek God's wisdom first, I am really just saying, No god, actually I know how to do this-- finance thing, parenting deal, marriage, purpose finding journey, navigation of relationships. To think how silly reese is to think that she would know how to spell something better than me... Ive been spelling for 25 years. I even won the 7th grade spelling be for the city of Tampa. It was crazy for her not to even ask, but yet to instead insist that her little meager way of spelling it was the way to do it instead of tapping into my wisdom. As silly as that is...its just what I do with the Lord. I don't do it out loud. Never would I say that in my prayers to the Lord. Actually the opposite, ill ask for wisdom then go do my own thing assuming he is leading. Majority of the time i am not asking for wisdom, praying over it for a few days/weeks, digging into the word on the issue, and listening more than talking in my prayer life. That is me quietly saying, no God, actually I know how to do this thing of life.
Silly enough, that interchange was a huge teaching moment for me. It really made me look at my approach to these huge blessings I am stewarding and really dig into God's wisdom on stewarding them. After all they're his and he knows best how to use them for Glory instead of waste. I have the priviledge of tapping into the ultimate source of knowledge... So a lot of times i need to get my "hands off my hips" and stop doing it my own way. Then I need to trust that he will answer, guide and give me the wisdom I have asked for.
Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.
If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.