Saturday, October 8, 2011

my commitment to you

Reese and Wheeler-
     I need to write this down, mostly for myself, but as a commitment to you.

1. We will love- we will love each other. We will learn to work as a team. To stick up for each other, to fight for and protect each other. We will not just talk about love, we will live it out. There will be lots of times I miss this. I'll be cleaning the kitchen instead of showing you I love you by reading with you, or my voice will raise, instead of affirm your preciousness when you are having a hard time. But know this, I love you with a fierce love and nothing could ever change this. Because of this great love, it has challenged me to do things I never thought would come into our story... We will not only love those in our family. We will love others. We will love others as best as we can just as we love our own family. We will love those who don't look like us, talk like us, dress like us. I pray I can faintly (as inaccurate as I do) model this for you, so that you will grow up loving with no boundaries of race, status, or location.
2. We may not always be comfortable- I have found that this is an underlying (and not so hidden) value in society and even in the Church. Comfort may look like many different things. Comfort to me used to look like an easy day with 2 well behaved, semi-quiet children. God exposed that idol in my life. He has taken me to a place and asked me to sacrifice comfort. He has asked me if i really feel like my #1 on this list is something I will hold to. Because of this great love he has given me and thus I have given you, We will continue to love others. It may sometimes come at the expense of our comfort, but is this what we will live for? Will we live for comfort or love? I choose love, I hope you will choose it with me. 

3. We will sacrifice- these next few years will be a team effort. We are embarking on a new journey as a family. We will sacrifice pleasing others. God calls us first to follow him, even if that means we choose his path over the path our family would have chosen for us. We will sacrifice an easier way life with getting second looks, ignorant comments made about our family, and walk in the joy of having a beautifully painted family. Our family is God's artwork on display. When given the choice, would we rather be a family and have comments said about us, or not be a family and make others more comfortable when they see us...we choose to be a family.  However, when I say we will sacrifice, it doesn't quite sound right in my heart. It is really not a sacrifice at all in my heart. I feel so privileged and honored to walk forward in what God has called us to and the "sacrifice" seems so small compared to what we have to gain. I know you both will have to pitch in in ways like never before and adjust to new ways of doing family, but I know God has prepared your hearts for such a time as this and I am thankful that such a small sacrifice will let you live out love and live out the Gospel in a way I couldn't teach you with words.

4. We will center ourselves on the Gospel, on Jesus. When we lose sight of our focus, we become aimless and purposeless. Our family will have a purpose, a mission. We will follow Him with reckless abandon and I pray we keep what Jesus has done for us at the forefront. I pray that the Gospel isn't a story before we go to bed in our house hold. I pray it is our life-breath. I pray it defines our family, focuses us in our mission and I pray it is something we reflect to others. 
5. We will have fun! If we go through life while missing this, then we miss a lot! I look forward to the memory making that is to come. I look fondly on the times we have had together, just laughing until we cry and enjoying the beauty of God's creation. I pray you never see yourselves as a side note or distraction or bother to me. You are a precious treasure, my reward, my undeserved blessing straight from my Father. I pray I parent you in a way you can see the depth of your value to me and to your God. 
6. We will be generous- we will give sacrificially. We will welcome people into our home. We will be available to others. We will give to our mission and give sometimes until it hurts. We need to all get better at this and work at it as a team. I don't want to just teach you "the value of a dollar". I want you to know hard work and I want you to know responsibility with money. But even more so, I want you to know what impact we can have on the kingdom when we give. Because in the end, is it really just about getting another toy? Or could it be about giving a child a meal who hasn't eaten in days, or welcoming a child into our home who has no concept of what a family is. We will give generously because life is pointless if we don't. We will give generously because, God gives us more of Himself when we do. We will give generously because we want to love others well. Just as much as I couldn't and would do anything in my power to never let you go hungry or uncared for, we also have to do that for our neighbors, whether they live in North Carolina, Brazil or Uganda. 

These are just a few of my commitments to you. I cannot uphold them alone, but I lean into a great God who, If we are about His business, he will be about ours. I will delight myself in Him and let His will shape my desires. I know I will mess up daily and I will need your forgiveness endlessly. But I wouldn't rather do this with anyone else.


  1. :) Hi Kylie! I love reading your blog. You do a great job of describing your thoughts and emotions. I am looking forward to "going" through your adoption journey with you. Know that Destin and I are praying for you!

  2. Kylie! this is amazing. what a treasure to have such clarity and vision from their awesome parents and then to have it written down to remind them. i say print and tuck in those bibles or frame!

  3. Kylie:
    I'm not even sure how I got to your blog but I just wanted to tell you how beautifully written your words are. I am also a mommy to 6 children, 4 of which are adopted, one domestically, two from Taiwan, and one from Ethiopia. We will be praying for your family as you embark on this unbelievable journey of adoption! You will be blessed beyond your wildest dreams!!!
    PS - It will also be nice to have another family locally to take some of the "stares" for!!! We love it and embrace it and use those moments to teach others about God's plan and adoption!!! We are in Melbourne too!